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river_kateSomething like my turning a corner has occured. For the last three or four years I have had to coax myself to get out of bed and do something rather often. Now, I am encouraging myself to rest more, although I am still relatively unproductive. When I allow my body to rest for several days, I've noticed that it always pays off. Always do I get a gift from it. My body, after all, is doing most of the work in my physical healing and I've come a long way in supporting what it's doing.
Anyway, recently I keep coming across the saying about what is true in the morning of one's life is not true in the afternoon of one's life. Certainly, I am on a different platform now and have learned not to judge myself for the results of doing what I thought best in the previous decades. It's like ceasing to tell yourself you were a loser for falling down so much when you were learning to walk.
This afternoon I actually got to spend some time in a lofty place of seeing how great I've done in the last few years, which I admit looked like a total train wreck. Finally, I can move on from second guessing myself, crying over spilt milk and lost opportunities. There was actually a whole body rush of information telling me that my great windfall of that time, now lost, was there to balance the truly horrendous things I went through and it was there to help me choose to stay in this life, not to be my only form of sustenance for the rest of it. My seeming limitations are helping me refine what I truly value now. I got a sense of how important it is to look for the gift and the best of any situation that appears restrictive or intolerable, without repressing the shadows or denying the reality of the challenge. I am aware of the wisdom of making the most of the free time and solitude that I have now instead of focusing on what is lacking. For me it did require solitude and lots of space from the outside world.
The documentary "It Might Get Loud" is one of the most impressive and meaningful things I've come across in the outside world recently. I also thoroughly enjoyed it. While it was interesting to learn about Jack White, who seems authentic to me even though I don't resonate with his views, and while the parts about The Edge were interesting too, what really amazed me was Jimmy Page. Jimmy Page is a god. It was wonderful to see the joy he still has when he plays guitar and it appears he is doing well with his current stage in life. He makes a remark about not knowing if he played it or if it played him. (I'm not sure if the word he used was played or chose or had.) But he said he had fun.
He is speaking, of course, of the happenings of his youth regarding his music career. Often things seem to randomly happen to us and then at some point it is the afternoon of one's life and things do appear different.
At this point, if anything would want to "have me", I'm sure I would better negotiate for more comfort and more of a sense of my own choice and pace instead of being used by the energies floating around in the universe.
The last few days I've had more of a sense of the rightness about where I'm at and how to make the best of it. It's good to be here in this place.
Anyway, recently I keep coming across the saying about what is true in the morning of one's life is not true in the afternoon of one's life. Certainly, I am on a different platform now and have learned not to judge myself for the results of doing what I thought best in the previous decades. It's like ceasing to tell yourself you were a loser for falling down so much when you were learning to walk.
This afternoon I actually got to spend some time in a lofty place of seeing how great I've done in the last few years, which I admit looked like a total train wreck. Finally, I can move on from second guessing myself, crying over spilt milk and lost opportunities. There was actually a whole body rush of information telling me that my great windfall of that time, now lost, was there to balance the truly horrendous things I went through and it was there to help me choose to stay in this life, not to be my only form of sustenance for the rest of it. My seeming limitations are helping me refine what I truly value now. I got a sense of how important it is to look for the gift and the best of any situation that appears restrictive or intolerable, without repressing the shadows or denying the reality of the challenge. I am aware of the wisdom of making the most of the free time and solitude that I have now instead of focusing on what is lacking. For me it did require solitude and lots of space from the outside world.
The documentary "It Might Get Loud" is one of the most impressive and meaningful things I've come across in the outside world recently. I also thoroughly enjoyed it. While it was interesting to learn about Jack White, who seems authentic to me even though I don't resonate with his views, and while the parts about The Edge were interesting too, what really amazed me was Jimmy Page. Jimmy Page is a god. It was wonderful to see the joy he still has when he plays guitar and it appears he is doing well with his current stage in life. He makes a remark about not knowing if he played it or if it played him. (I'm not sure if the word he used was played or chose or had.) But he said he had fun.
He is speaking, of course, of the happenings of his youth regarding his music career. Often things seem to randomly happen to us and then at some point it is the afternoon of one's life and things do appear different.
At this point, if anything would want to "have me", I'm sure I would better negotiate for more comfort and more of a sense of my own choice and pace instead of being used by the energies floating around in the universe.
The last few days I've had more of a sense of the rightness about where I'm at and how to make the best of it. It's good to be here in this place.
