Hibernation

Dec. 9th, 2009 11:41 pm
river_kate: (home)

I've been indoors an entire week now.  First it was because this thing that happens where I can't stand up straight and can barely walk for a few days happened.  Then it snowed and got very, very, very cold here.  If I don't have to go out, why should I?  Actually, it isn't the cold so much as walking on icy sidewalks.  I have become terrified of falling down.  Last autumn, I prepared for this.  There is food stashed here; I have books and movies and my computers.  I am not crazy yet; I have walked down the hall to the mailbox and yesterday I went to the bistro on the first floor and had a tuna sandwich, a red potato salad and coffee.....and a brownie to go.  Almost any food that I haven't fixed myself sounds amazing right now.

My apartment was clean when my cousin visited the Saturday after Thanksgiving.  I spent three days on the living room, kitchen and bathroom.  She came with her oldest granddaughter who is about nine years old and they stayed all of about half an hour.   They looked at me and at each other and paid no attention to my stuff.  The tidied apartment made the piles in my bedroom and little paths that I walk through start to bother me.  So, this evening I hauled some of the piles into the living room and will attempt to begin organizing tomorrow.  The fact is that I will need to get rid of stuff and that's difficult and scary for me.

After finishing my NaNo novel, I started working on the journal-like prologue to it again, the Dark Shadows fanfiction with original characters that I've slowly been posting here.  The novel is in three timelines, 1967, 1897 and 2009 at the very end, where a young woman discovers she is the reincarnation of the 1897 woman and also is having a parallel life (same soul) as a 1967 woman.  I really enjoy the historical parts.  Right now I'm reading a series of Regency era mysteries.  I tend to focus on the romantics of the past, the furniture, architecture and clothing.  After recently watching the John Adams series, I was reminded that I much prefer the medical care of today.  After the rather graphic depiction of a smallpox innoculation, leg amputation and masectomy as it was done in the late 18th century, I wonder how hardly anyone survived.  It was very obvious in the film that the dental care of the time left a lot to be desired too.

What started my latest history thing again was giving in and reading "The Lost Symbol".  As with "The DaVinci Code", I barely recall anything of what I read.  It did make me want to look into the Revolutionary War again.  I am also reading "The Autobiography Of George Washington" by Edith Ellis.  Edith Ellis channeled this book in 1944 at the request of Washington and it was finally published in about 2005 or so.  It is way more personal and insightful than what is recorded in the history books.

I have my next painting roughly sketched out.  It's of a covered stone bridge over reflecting water.  I love the photo that I'm painting it from and am aware that what I usually paint has little resemblance to the real subject.  I got some ready-made frames for the little miniatures I've done and am amazed at what a frame can do for a painting.

So, this is how my life's been going as everyday I've somehow not been posting here.

Wordless

Sep. 27th, 2009 10:16 pm
river_kate: (life)
What a wonderful week this has been. The weather was often perfect, I had more energy and less pain than I've had in a long time and there was interesting things to do. Language had very little to do with anything and I haven't been in word mode for awhile.

The days I chose to walk along the river happened to be when the crowds were doing other things and it was great to have that space. I tried out three new places to eat instead of the same old ones where I usually go, where they know I'm easy-going and a good tipper and now don't really give me good service anymore.

My dining room table is actually cleared off and I have my paints and some canvas panels stacked there now with ideas for six paintings. This is after I haven't painted for about thirty-five years.

I am doing a bit of organizing in my apartment so I can find things better and feel more comfortable. When acquaintances ask me questions it takes a little longer to answer and I feel somewhat surprised that I am required to speak.

It's odd but I am enjoying reading and am doing O.K. with understanding what I read. Right now I am reading a book by Dianne Day that I found at the library. It takes place in San Francisco during the earthquake of 1906 and is a mystery with a female main character. I'd never heard of the author and she's written seven books with this character which is wonderful news for me. They may have them all at the library, if not I see they are on Amazon.

So, for right now I'm not having the usual low-grade anxiety. Maybe others are feeling this way too. When I go to the usual places online it looks like people are vanishing.
river_kate: (life)
It's still too hot where I live. It would be cool enough to do things in the morning but that's when my body wants to sleep. The last few days I've been way not feeling well and that usually causes me to get back to basics.

Most of us know that it's good to love ourselves as we are, not to compare ourselves to others and to accept where we're at while moving towards something better. Easier said than done. I was able to practice it for a few hours this afternoon as I slowly roused from an unpleasant place. As I fumbled in the kitchen I practiced being very patient with my clumsiness and how I did things. As I took a shower and moisturized my face I was actually able to be caring and non-critical of my body for a short time. Maybe it was easier because I spent a few days alone and had tuned out other people, I don't know. It just felt that I had enough space to briefly pay some attention to getting to know myself and really look in all my weirdness, quirkiness, quaintness, warts and all. After all, there never has been and never will be another just like me and it would be sad to get through this life and never get to know myself.

Yesterday I did manage to get out and see a matinee of "Julie and Julia". I enjoyed it. After feeling numb and apathetic, I laughed a lot and cried a little. It was lovely looking at all that food and watching someone do a project that I will never, ever do. My favorite thing of the whole film was watching Julia's relationship with her husband. Oh, to have a husband like Paul Child. I came home and looked up some information on their marriage and of course ran into criticism of the Julie part of the film. Maybe she was using Julia and being selfish and narcissistic. I just wanted to enjoy the film.

As usual, several big names in the media have done things that everyone seems to have opinions about but I noticed I don't get worked up about things like that anymore. I don't think I'm going too far with that but I am really in more of a live-and-let-live-mode these days. It's just that I'm finding that I can easily do without so many things and activities.

I just began a Victorian mystery by a youngish writer named Charles Finch. It's called "A Beautiful Blue Death." I am so pleased that there are those of the younger generation continuing to write books I enjoy reading. I also love Deanna Raybourn. I wait and wait for her books and then read them in a day or two when I get a new one.

Profile

river_kate: (Default)
river_kate

January 2010

S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Mar. 25th, 2026 02:14 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios