What If They'd Given Up?
Dec. 31st, 2009 09:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
river_kateThis afternoon I got out for a bit because I was craving lasagne. About a half hour after I got home it began to snow a lot and I'm so happy to be indoors with my Bailey's and coffee. I haven't been posting much because real life has been so much more interesting to me lately than being online.
I was kind of thinking about the last year and I realize lately that it was actually rather good. My apartment is organized and clean and that has been almost a thirty year struggle for me. I have began painting again. I have written and began editing a novel. I got out from under a sanity-sucking housing program without having to move. I have come to better terms with my health. This is the first year I haven't had a lot of deaths of people close to me. (The calendar has become a landmine of death anniversaries and ummm....I see a bit of what the future will be like.)
I have just recently become aware that it is the end of a decade also and have to notice that I am actually much better off than I was ten years ago. This decade has often been an unbelievable hell and I've also been through some amazing experiences that I never dreamed of. And such is life. Everything really is better than it was ten years ago. True, I have had a lot of losses but generally I believe that anything of real value to us isn't lost for eternity. My health is surely better than it was ten years ago, although then I didn't realize how challenged it was and that I would almost die several times. That might sound rather dramatic, but when one is going through it, it isn't such a big deal. At least it wasn't for me. About the only thing that isn't quite as good is my functioning, although that isn't such a loss to me. Most of my physical and mental energy was being demanded and exploited and unappreciated by a soul-sucking job . My best was not really available for my own benefit and I got the leftovers. Now, I have more of my physical and mental vitality under my own direction.
This evening I'm watching 'The Impressionists" because I really like to watch the very talented and very hot Richard Armitage. (I confess I have a huge crush on him.) The film is so beautiful and once again, I am very emotional as I watch it. I was fortunate to see an exhibit of Impressionist paintings from Europe several times while it was at the Denver Art Museum several years ago. I am so moved when I see this film and am so grateful that those artists did not give up. Really, really grateful.
I am feeling optimism about the coming year, decade and future of humanity. I wouldn't miss this time in our evolution for anything!
I was kind of thinking about the last year and I realize lately that it was actually rather good. My apartment is organized and clean and that has been almost a thirty year struggle for me. I have began painting again. I have written and began editing a novel. I got out from under a sanity-sucking housing program without having to move. I have come to better terms with my health. This is the first year I haven't had a lot of deaths of people close to me. (The calendar has become a landmine of death anniversaries and ummm....I see a bit of what the future will be like.)
I have just recently become aware that it is the end of a decade also and have to notice that I am actually much better off than I was ten years ago. This decade has often been an unbelievable hell and I've also been through some amazing experiences that I never dreamed of. And such is life. Everything really is better than it was ten years ago. True, I have had a lot of losses but generally I believe that anything of real value to us isn't lost for eternity. My health is surely better than it was ten years ago, although then I didn't realize how challenged it was and that I would almost die several times. That might sound rather dramatic, but when one is going through it, it isn't such a big deal. At least it wasn't for me. About the only thing that isn't quite as good is my functioning, although that isn't such a loss to me. Most of my physical and mental energy was being demanded and exploited and unappreciated by a soul-sucking job . My best was not really available for my own benefit and I got the leftovers. Now, I have more of my physical and mental vitality under my own direction.
This evening I'm watching 'The Impressionists" because I really like to watch the very talented and very hot Richard Armitage. (I confess I have a huge crush on him.) The film is so beautiful and once again, I am very emotional as I watch it. I was fortunate to see an exhibit of Impressionist paintings from Europe several times while it was at the Denver Art Museum several years ago. I am so moved when I see this film and am so grateful that those artists did not give up. Really, really grateful.
I am feeling optimism about the coming year, decade and future of humanity. I wouldn't miss this time in our evolution for anything!
